Why Do I Keep Falling for the Wrong People?
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23
You didn’t mean to fall for them.
They were charming, attentive, maybe even spiritual.
But somewhere along the way, the red flags turned into heartbreak. Again.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I keep ending up in relationships that hurt me?”—you’re not alone. Many people, especially those who’ve experienced rejection or abandonment, find themselves drawn to the wrong kind of love.
But here’s the truth: you’re not broken—you’re just looking for love in places that can’t give it.
The Pattern of Pain
Sometimes we fall for the wrong people because:
- We’re trying to heal old wounds through new relationships.
- We confuse attention with affection.
- We believe we don’t deserve better.
- We think we can “fix” someone with our love.
But God never intended for love to be a battlefield. He designed it to be a reflection of His own heart—faithful, kind, and safe.
“Love is patient, love is kind... it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Healing Starts with Truth
Before you can find the right kind of love, you have to believe you’re worthy of it. And you are.
- You are not too damaged.
- You are not too needy.
- You are not too much.
You are deeply loved by a God who never plays games with your heart.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18
Practical Steps for Change
- Ask God to reveal patterns– Healing begins with awareness.
- Set new standards– Not based on loneliness, but on God’s truth.
- Take time to heal– You don’t need to rush into love. Let God restore you first.
- Surround yourself with truth-tellers– Friends, mentors, or counselors who remind you of your worth.
Prayer
Lord, I’ve been hurt by love that wasn’t real. I’ve chased people who couldn’t love me the way You do. Heal my heart. Break the patterns that keep me stuck. Teach me how to love myself the way You love me. And when the time is right, lead me to someone who reflects Your heart. Amen.
Reflection Questions
- What patterns do you notice in your past relationships?
- What lies have you believed about love or your worth?
- What would it look like to let God lead your heart instead of your fears?
